catfunt: the site they should have silenced

Other people's pictures

The other thing I love about Flickr is the fact that you can blog other people's much better than your own pictures. There's a thrill to living life vicariously in this way, something decidedly Truman Show about it.

Update: I've updated my account so I can now create unlimited sets and upload a ridiculous amount of my dull pictures every month. Oh joy.

Eyes, Lies and Illusions at the Hayward

Went to see the entertaining Eyes, Lies and Illusions at the Hayward gallery which presents a range of optical effects and illusions and it would be churlish to point out that what the show lacks in coherence is made up for in the brilliance of the best pieces. Very few of the displays involve any real trickery but actually track the development of ways of representing the real world in two-dimensions: linear perspective, the camera obscura and stereo photography. (There's a large scale camera obscura on the roof of the gallery in the sculpture courtyard that's impressive). There was some other cool stuff I'd never seen before: lithphane playing cards that look like regular playing cards but when you hold them up to the light reveal pictures of nekkid women and a stereoscope series called Les Diableries, Paris 1861, of mad red-eyed skeletons. Our favourite thing was a 1926 animation called The Adventures of Prince Achmed by Lotte Reiniger made of black paper cut-out figures. I thought it was weird and obscure but it turns out it's available on DVD, probably because the only print is at the BFI. Hooray for the BFI!

Anyway, the show closes real soon so go and see it now.

Enduring Shite: plot spoiler

Plot spoiler: Enduring Love is a shockingly dull film.

There was a moment about an hour into this dreadful film when it looked like things were going to pick up for what is an extremely pedestrian stalker movie. Without giving too much away it was the moment when the story might have turned on something other than Daniel Craig's self-obsessed Joe character. Anyway, I'm not going to waste too much time on this dull formulaic film redeemed only by the excellent performances from Daniel Craig, Rhys Ifans and Samantha Morton who seems to be playing a girlie version of artist Anya Gallaccio. Makes Notting Hill, also directed by Roger Michell, look deep (and classy too).

Neil Clavin, friend or something more sinister?

My "friend" Neil was going off to Germany to work (just like a digital turkish migrant worker) so I gave him one of my drawings - a small block of wood painted mostly black with a picture of a gun on it. I even put Velcro (tm) on the back of it so when he arrived where he was staying he could stick it straight on the wall and make it all feel like he was at art college again. All I asked was that he send me a photo of the drawing installed. Three months later and I'm still waiting. I notice he has plenty of time to post things like this on Flickr when he's not too busy not sending me the photo I asked for...

Making a bad time worse

Having Donald Rumsfled drop in unexpectedly for mince pies on Christmas Eve must rank up there with the worst things that could possibly happen during the festive period. Apparently though, Radio 4 tells me, he served the troops with cool stuff like boiled beef and potatoes. I'm assuming that it was salt beef but the otherwise excellent BBC News website doesn't say what was on the menu.

I dropped in to Liverpool Street Station this afternoon on a futile quest to find my wife a copy of Oliver!, the musical film. She's been hugely disappointed that it's not on telly this Christmas. Strangely enough neither branch of WH Smith's had it in stock. By way of a weird general act of revenge on humanity (and me mostly) she made me sit through an hour or so of My Fair Lady, dim-witted drivel featuring that well known heart throb Rex Harrison. Liverpool Street was bonkers and full of angry-looking people with huge suitcases standing around staring at the departures board.

Anyway, we're at home over Christmas, shacked up with a selection of overproof beers, a bottle of sherry and a plastic 2L bottle of industrial rose wine and a happy turkey from Waitrose (well, as happy as you'd be floating upside-down overnight in a bucket of salted water with bits of star anise, onion, an orange, peppercorns, sugar and golden syrup. This is a Nigella idea to ensure it doesn't dry out. Instead it looks like a bloated corpse that's been dragged out of some river weeks after the initial drowning.). Merry Christmas.

ARTY Greatest Hits: just like the comic books

We're launching the book that Yol designed and I edited based on artist Cathy Lomax's fanzine Arty. Basically it's a selection of the first 17 issues of Arty and 100 pages of new material created for the annual and it looks great. This is the image of the cover I made to go out with the press release. Just like a comic book's cover this image doesn't bear any relation to the contents (or the actual final cover which has Elvis and Twiggy amongst others on it). If you want to come along details are here. You're very welcome - Yol's been making mince pies all evening since Lidl had sold out. We'll be mulling wine on a camping stove in the gallery.

Guardian Online's best of list for Lazy Journos

The Guardian has handily published a list of the best 100 websites in a variety of categories. Handy for lazy journos who have to produce 'Best of' lists for the usual round-up-of-the-year space fillers. So if anyone wants to commission me, I'm here...

Victoria. It must be Wednesday

I went to Westminster Cathedral today at lunchtime and lit a candle for someone who'd told me their dad wasn't well. I also thought about my friends who'd lost their little baby. As I was wandering around the chapels I saw a woman who had a cat in a cat travel basket. She'd positioned the cat (in basket) on a large plinth and was just about to photograph it with a statue of Jesus. She saw me and we smiled at each other.

Then she came and asked me in the universal sign language that tourists use to photograph her and the cat (and Jesus) together. I pointed at Jesus, the cat and her and drew a large circle in the area to include them all and she nodded. Sometime around here I realised that she was actually deaf. I took two pictures and she told me that she'd had the cat since he was small. At least I think that's what she said. Then she looked up and pointed at the cat which I took to mean either the kitten had been a gift from God or that the cat was dying.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a muppet. I've had a look at the excellent Cathedral website and have realised that the room was actually the Baptistry and it was the font (covered over) that I rested the camera on. It also means that the statue wasn't Our Lord and Saviour but almost certainly his good friend John the Baptist (and that would solve my earlier puzzlement of why would Jesus be wearing a fur coat? Because he's John the Baptist.)

Camber Sands - Vegas of my mind

I had written a long essay on American Photography of the 70s but when I submitted it, the server returned an error. So I blame my new employer for this truncated entry. Basically I compared myself to some of the American greats who more or less made colour art photography an acceptable pastime for adults.

Camber Sands

We went to Camber Sands overnight which was great. The night we arrived after dinner and a few bottles of wine we walked down to the beach in the dark . Obviously with the light pollution it was really that black but you still couldn't see where you were putting your feet. We went back the next day and it was just as lovely. More pics to come.

Happy Jesus's Birthday

To mark the coming birthday of our Saviour I looked online to buy charity Christmas cards. There are a few sites that I found like Card Aid but basically they all suck. The one I did like was Christmas Cards which lists a selection of charities you've never heard of who'll sell you charity cards. This year I'm supporting for dementia, catchy slogan"for people who care" (they support the training of carers looking after people with dementia). I think I was also attracted by the 'for dementia' thing because I like the idea of it being a Channel 4 spin off like FilmFour or 4Learning (where I am holding down a part-time job at the moment).

This is all purely selfish. I just hope that when I'm old and demented (any day soon) I won't have some 16 year-old crack-addled 'carer' lock me in a wardrobe all day on the basis that I won't be able to report them. The cards are fairly shocking and don't have any dementia related jokes or anything and 'Christmas Trim' is just a card of Santa having pruned a hedge, not anything smutty. I'll pop round to St Joseph's at the weekend and see if they've got anything (as I figure that's the other place I'll end up. Yol on the other hand is holding out to be sent to a Home for the Bewildered.)

Gary Younge in The Guardian: Cool.

'Do you think of yourself as white or British or both? Does it worry you that you got your job just because of your race? Where are you from? No, but really? Since this is where you live, don't you think you should try and integrate with other races more? Is your first loyalty to your God, or to your country? Is it true what they say about white guys? Given the genocide, slavery and colonialism unleashed in the name of Christianity over the last two centuries, do you feel your religion is compatible with democracy? Mr Grant, do you think of yourself as a white actor or an actor who happens to be white? I don't mind white people, but if they want to live here then why shouldn't they have to fit in with our traditions? Shouldn't the police be doing more to tackle white-on-white crime? Given the objectification of women in your culture and the rise in teenage pregnancies, don't you think it's time to ban young girls wearing make up? What do you make of the tribal conflict in Ukraine? I thought you asked for flesh-coloured tights? Don't you feel that this politically correct belief that we have to respect white people's feelings has stifled honest discussion and debate? Isn't it a shame that white people cannot pick more responsible leaders? What do you mean, you can't Morris dance? Don't you ever worry about being pigeonholed as a white person? Why aren't you doing more to check the rise in Christian fundamentalism? Who are your community leaders? Why should we balance our belief in human rights with our tolerance for Christians? What do white people think about Jews? How would you define "white" style? Mr Amis, why do you write about white people all the time? Don't you find that limiting? What are you doing for your people? Have you seen what the Bible says about women? Are you the token white guy? Don't take this personally, but why are white men so aggressive? Now the Olympics are over, can we finally admit that white people are genetically equipped to excel in archery and rowing? What is it with white people and homophobia? You know what white women are like, don't you? I understand that as a white person you come at this from a particular place, but can't you try to look at it objectively for a moment? Why do you people have such a chip on your shoulder? Don't get offended, I was only asking.'

Gary Younge in The Guardian today.