catfunt: the site they should have silenced

Insanely talented

My friend Damian (who has asked me to stop posting on his other website under the Paris Hilton nom de plume - he says it attracts too many masturbatory teenagers who believe that Paris is majorly into World Music and they then spend days hanging around his site) has directed me to his insanely talented friend Louis' website. It's got some really nice things on it: film, drawings, photos - is there no end to this man's talents? This is one of his pictures of D.

Dr Daryl Nelson

I received this via the Artsadmin e-digest list. Does the so called Dr Daryl Nelson think all artists are schmucks? (I'm sorry I keep posting spam on my blog. I have a weird obsession with the ones that start 'Dear XXX' and take a letter-form rather than simply being an advert for a larger/firmer penis. It's something to do with the mode of address.)

Dear Sir,

Dr Daryl Nelson darylnelson@indiatimes.com Fax Number: +85 230 102298

Jan Manzill is Charlie Tweed

I notice that the art world, most notably well-known performance artiste Jan Manzill who has so honed her act that she actually appears most days as the sober and upright everyday citizen Charlie Tweed, has taken to the idea first mooted here of using Microsoft Office as an "art tool".

But the Tweed character is a fantastic invention. I worry though that the obviously shy Manzill is simply using her alter-ego as a place to escape the pain and trauma she experiences in real life.

L. MACHISMO

In the same way that in the best Rock 'n' Roll tradition the most important thing about setting up a band is the name, the most important thing about an art show is the invite. As the 'L.MACHISMO' show isn't on for over a year I've given myself a good run at it by starting early. I won't make the same mistake as I did with APU150 where I left myself a mere few days to fuck around with PhotoShop and QuarkXpress. I like this one.

Paella Gun

Here is a less derivative (of Kurt Schwitters and the other collagistes at least) image that I'm working on for the L.MACHISMO show that I mentioned in the previous entry. It's called 'Paella Gun' naturally enough and I think it gives you an idea of what the show might be about: Seafood and Guns. No, cultural notions of masculinity and the objects that said masculinity embeds itself in (or some such tosh). I think there will be lots of ads for Viagra in the show.

Arty Boys

My friend Cathy has asked me to do some work for her magazine Arty, the Boys issue. This is from a series called L.MACHISMO which is also the basis for a show I'm curating at Transition next summer. I've chosen a few people so far to be in the show but haven't told them as yet as we don't want them blowing their wad too early.

You can see I've turned into one of those sad people who make art by cutting up magazines and scanning the pages. Like Kurt Schwitters. He had a very early prototype scanner and a beta of Photoshop 0.2.

You can also read about the art theft at Transition on their site. Someone asked me the other day if I knew Stella Vine. How cool is that? (answer: not very.)

Never scam a scammer

Dear Friend,

I know you will be surprised to read from me, but please consider this
letter as a request from a family in dire need for your assistance.
Firstly, I must introduce myself, I am PRINCE IBRAHIM DUNGA from
Zimbabwe, and I am the first and the only son of MR DANIEL DUNGA. I am presently residing in SOUTH AFRICA.

I got your contact from the SOUTH AFRICA INFORMATION EXCHANGE (S.A.I.E)
in Johannesburg and on behalf of my mother who is a widow MRS ANGELA
DUNGA. I decided to solicit for your assistance to transfer the sum of
US$ 18.5M (Eighteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars)
in your personal or company account. Before my father‚s death, he was
among the few black Zimbabweans rich farmers, and, he was poisoned by
the agents of the ruling government of president ROBERT MUGABE for his
alleged support and sympathy for Zimbabwean opposition party controlled
by white minority. Before his death, he had taken me to Johannesburg to
deposit his money to a Security and Finance Company. This money was
deposited as a gemstone to avoid much demurrage from the Security
Company.
This money was earmarked for purchase of new machinery and chemicals
for the farms and to establish new farms in Lesotho and Swaziland.

In this will, he specifically drew my attention to this sum of US$18.5M
(Eighteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) that he
deposited in safe box of a private Security and Finance Company here in
Johannesburg, South Africa.

INFACT MY FATHER SAID IN HIS WILL AND QUOTE:

„My beloved son, I wish to draw your attention to this money which I
deposited in your name in a box with a Security and Finance Company in
Johannesburg, South Africa. In case of my absence on earth caused by
death, you should solicit for a reliable foreign partner to transfer
this
money out of South Africa for investment purposes.

From the above, you will understand that life and future of my family
depends on this money, as much I will be very grateful if you can
assist
us. We are now living in South Africa as asylum seekers and financial
laws of South Africa does not allow asylum seekers certain right to
such
huge amount of money. In view of this, I can not invest this money in
South Africa hence am asking you to assist me to transfer this money
out
of South Africa for investment purposes. For your effort, I am prepared
to offer you 25% of the total fund. While 5% will be set my family and
I will keep aside for local and international expenses and 70%. Finally
modalities on how the transfer will be done will be conveyed to once we
establish trust and confidence between ourselves.

Looking forward to your reply including your full name, and your full
direct phone & fax numbers, and please treat as very urgent.

Best Regards,

PRINCE IBRAHIM DUNGA.

Phil Gyford: Superstar

Some well-deserved plaudits for Phil "They call Me Mister Pepys" Gyford.

60 Seconds at 291 Gallery, E2

This is a show of 94 videos by 84 international video artistes and the great thing is each video is only 60 seconds long. It's been organised by James Payne and Cliodhna Murphy (no relation). I've seen the videos and there's some great stuff there: Scotia Luhrs' clouds, Tina Keane's 'Vampire Virus', Brian Duggan's stuff, Peter Atha's 'YMCA' and a whole load more. So come along and buy me a drink.

If you miss the screening on Friday 16 July you can catch them at Space-twotentwo from 21-27 July.

The Peacemaker: "I'm In"

I liked to believe that no one in a film had ever really said "I'm in" having tapped away at a computer keyboard for three seconds while attempting to break into a network. I thought it was some kind of urban myth. Nicole Kidman has just said it. She tapped for less that three seconds. The password was "Hasselhoff".

Went to the excellent "Publish And Be Damned", which despite being having been sold to me as a "small publishers fair" (but many of them were over 5 foot six which is where I draw the line as that is my height), was by far the best thing I've been to this year. I will obviously have to revise this opinion when someone says "But you came to my show. Didn't you like it better than these obsessional self-publishers?".

I am back...

... and my liketv email address isn't working for many reasons. You can mail me at the catfunt.net address. Just add paul in front of it. And Steve if that's you I need the login info to renew the domain.

I was in Le Touquet living the life. It's just like the south east of England - wet, windy with occasional sun.